Someone Else's Brilliance

As I wait for my latest shawl to dry out on my living room floor, I have to fess up a certain amount of ambivalence towards this entire project. As I have no intentions of saying anything negative about it when I present the finished project to you, I thought I would go ahead and get it off of my chest this evening.

If I am honest, there are two main problems.

One.

I never, ever should have done this project as part of a knit along. I know myself, and I know that I am the sort of person who loses interest as soon as something (books, knitting patterns, movies...you name it) becomes popular. There are a lot of really nice knitters involved in this KAL, but I'm just not someone who enjoys or benefits from working closely with a large group on a single project. I'm also not into classes at the gym, preferring to work on my own. That's just the way I roll.

The more I've heard about the KAL, the less I've wanted to actually knit this shawl, and the less value I've placed in the final project. It is, after all, just one of many being made here in town right now, and each will be beautiful. There's nothing special about my version at all.

Why did I do it? Well, I had been planning on knitting up this pattern for quite some time. When I discovered they were using a yarn I was interested in it seemed like the perfect opportunity. The LYSO caught me on a good day, and I didn't stop to think about the full ramifications of my decision.

Lesson learned.

Two.

The phrase 'someone else's brilliance' has been playing over and over in my head over the last few days as I've worked to finish up the edging.

Yes, it's pretty...but it's someone else's design.

You could argue that I picked the color and the beads.....but again, it was someone else's design and someone else's idea to use the gradiance colorways.

I've thought about putting it up on the wall in my living room, but do I really want to put someone else's brilliance on my wall?

It just doesn't feel like it's mine at all.

Yes, I put the work into it, and yes I'm an excellent technical knitter. However, I think what this is telling me is that I want more and perhaps it's time to start pushing the envelope a bit.

It is most definitely something to think about.