These are the two words I am trying to live by this year.
(Necklace by Lisa Leonard)
You've already heard the story behind my first choice - persistence - but I didn't tell you that I had added a second word in February. Patience...something I'm not really very good at. I heard a woman on a tv show speak of the fact that she'd needed two things to reach her goal - persistence and patience - and I felt the light go on inside of me. I absolutely needed both as well. What I didn't know was how very badly I would need to focus on patience in the weeks to come.
Goodness knows I've spent enough time bellyaching about my recovery process. As you've all been so kind and so patient with me, I thought I would share with you the good things that have happened. In fact, I have received some rather powerful - and completely unlooked for - blessings.
- In the weeks following the surgery, I missed my workouts badly. In fact, I missed them so much that I was able to let go of the slight bit of boredom/resentment/resignation that had started to creep into my weekly routine.
- When I got back into the gym, one thing was obvious. I LOVED being there, and I LOVED the feeling of capability that came with each successful exercise.
- Released from my goal-oriented workout schedule, I was able to allow myself to be fully present with each and every workout, enjoying every minute.
- With all of that, something magical happened. The focus on the scales has all but disappeared, and now I am focusing on how I feel. I want to work out and eat right because it makes me feel incredible...not because I'm focusing on a number on the scale.
- And because of that change in focus, I have also been able to let go of my anxieties about how slow my weight loss is.
- So what, my body seems to say....look at how much better life is now, and just focus on that.
As this post goes live this morning, I will be slowly walking a 5K with my parents and my girls. Rather than being upset at how much I lost to the surgery, I'm going to enjoy the fresh air, the time with my family, the energy and high spirits of the race, and the joy of moving forward in this world.
And then....then I'm going to go with my Dad to buy a bike.