Tuesday, July 28, 2009

A NaKniSweMoDo Announcement

After great thought and consideration, I've decided to drop out of NaKniSweMoDo. It wasn't at all an easy decision, but I think it's the right one.
I initially signed up for this project with the absolute best of intentions. 12 sweaters in 12 months?! To some it seems like a crazy idea, but I thought it would be perfect for me because it would help reach three very important goals. Namely:
  1. Use up my stash! I had lots of sweaters planned that I never seemed to get around to knitting.
  2. Get over my weird issues with sweaters. I LOVE the finished project, but adult sweaters have been problematic for me for a variety of reasons.
  3. Help me accept myself, and give myself the love and attention I deserve with my own handknits. Ask my knitting friends - this has been a big problem for me.

By the end of March I had finished three sweaters - one for myself, one for my husband, and a sample for a designer. The fourth went quickly onto the needles, but it's moved very slowly. For some reason I just couldn't bring myself to cast on the next sweater - largely through indecision as to which to do, but also because other projects (ok, and my lace obsessions) interfered. It's now been two months, and not only have I not continued my NaKniSweMoDo quest, but I find myself really questioning whether or not it's right for me at this time.

What's changed?
Well, I have.
Rather, my body has started to change and for the first time I have every reason to believe that this is just the start towards a permanent and lasting change. It's been almost a month since I joined the gym, and this is my fourth week with the trainer. The weight is coming off, my shape is changing, my attitude is better and I am loving every minute of it. Thanks to the groundwork I had done prior to joining the gym, I know that I will be successful.
I really don't want to knit sweaters right now because I have no idea of what my final body shape and size is going to be like. I also have no idea of how long it's going to take to get there, or exactly how much change I'm going to go through. What I do know is that I don't want to waste time, energy and resources knitting for myself while I go through this process. If I knit to fit me as I am now, by the time I'm done the sweater most likely will be too big. Guessing what size to knit for the future me is laughable for the reasons mentioned above. Unlike the fear of old (can't possibly knit THAT size....can I make it smaller because I might lose weight?...it was nuts, and I know that now) this time I feel that my sweater avoidance is coming from a place of hope and love. You better believe that by spring I'll be making sweaters for myself like crazy!
And so, I'm going to let go of NaKniSweMoDo. If it comes back next year, I may try it again. In the meantime, I have lots and lots of other things to knit!


Anne said...

I think a smart choice, given other changes in your life. You'll feel so much better not having a closet of things you can no longer wear anyway! And I would suspect more motivation to knit things that will fit your new size better anyhoo. :)

margene said...

Good move. Next year we're planning shawls. I know you can do that. ;-)

Jenn said...

Excellent choice! I think that we'll have a lot of fun picking out projects for you in the future... and shawls sounds perfect for you!!