Thursday, December 5, 2013

A Cranky Letter

Dear Family Sitting At the Table Next To Me,

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that I've managed to offend you by the simple fact that I've chosen an entire table for myself this morning.  I know you would prefer that I sit at the large communal table...because you discussed that, pointing to me and then to the table in as obvious a manner as you thought you could get away with.  I believe the exact quote was "She should be over there."

The irony is that if I had been doing my usual - knitting with my earbuds plugged in and a podcast playing - I likely wouldn't have even noticed.  But today I was doing some Hard Work that needed to be done.

Hard Work that didn't need to be interrupted by a rude family.

I thought about getting up and saying something snide....but that just isn't in me, and you aren't really worth it.  I have no desire to call you out publicly or make a scene.

Besides, I have a reputation as a nice girl to maintain!

But you did hurt my feelings, and I wanted to respond somehow...especially as you kept sending me vitriolic looks the entire time you were here.

And so....

Shut it, dear family sitting next to me.

For starters, it is not MY Fault that the tables and chairs are set up like this.  This place went through a major overhaul this summer, and the powers that be decided that they could get more people packed in here if they redid the seating.  Thus...instead of many individual tables there now exists one big communal table, a computer 'bar' along the window and just a few individual tables.  Nope, it's not really ideal, but it is what it is.  The important thing to remember here is that I DID NOT DESIGN THE TABLES.  Like you, I am working with what I have.

The fact of the matter is that I've tried...I really have tried to sit at that big table.  As I am generally here by myself, I know I probably  *should* sit at the group table.  The fact of the matter, though, is that I was excruciatingly uncomfortable sitting there - uncomfortable at being forced into such close proximity with people I don't know...distracted by so much movement and noise at such a close range...unable to focus - yeah, it was ugly.  I shouldn't have to explain my own neurosis to you.

Nor should I have to explain simple human kindness and consideration.  If it's pretty darn clear to me upon entering a coffee shop that people have chosen their seats for their own  personal needs and comfort, than it should be clear to you.

Besides, coffee shops are first come, first serve.  Blame your own darn selves for getting here at a particularly busy time of day.  Anyone could have told you that it would be difficult to find seating during lunch hour at a busy location.  This is a high traffic store...I regularly see people making the best of it with cheery dispositions.  Maybe you should try that?

So you are just going to have to deal with the fact that you have a smaller table than me.

Tough Sh*t.

One last note.  I LOVED the look on your faces when a friend came in and the barista yelled out pretty loudly, "Kristin, do you know EVERYONE!?!"

Dude...they've got my back.


PS.  In the 10 years that I've been seeking refuge in coffee shops, this is honestly the ONLY negative experience I've had.  All in all, that's a pretty darn good track record.


Kate (Cathy Johnson) said...

LOVE this. And what is WITH people, anyway?? So you're supposed to get up and move, when they come in after you? Don't think so.

Joseph said...

You are a far, far better person than I Kristin.