Sometimes you just have to take a deep breath and step off the edge of the cliff.
Despite the fact that I've been keeping journals for close to 22 years, I've resisted the idea of a blog for quite some time. Why bother? After all, what could I possibly have to say that anyone could find interesting? I had my private journals for my own use, and that was enough for me. The fear bug wouldn't let me even consider the possibilities in a new medium.
What the fear bug failed to understand is that I was beginning to change. For the first time in my life it was losing it's hold on me as I considered ways to create a more meaningful, creative life.
The first spark for a blog is told in two journal entries. On December 7th, item #12 on a list entitled, "Random Thoughts on Journaling," states, "I want a blog." In a lengthy, kitchen sink entry on December 11th I wrote, "Some blog ideas (if I ever get one) / 1st entry to be called 'birth' - discuss how happy I am to be cutting stash down - creativity in being forced to deal with limited resources - need to decide upon full intent (just knitting? or knitting and other stuff) & tone - need to pick a clever name."
The fear bug wasn't so happy with this, and tried very hard to regain control. You have no ideas, it told me, and there are certainly enough knitting blogs in the world. I tried to set the whole mess aside.
And then one day I had a flash of inspiration. At the end of a journal entry on January 8th, there is a simple line that states, "Idea - The Green Woman Comes Knocking. Title? Blog Name? Company?" I didn't know exactly what it was to be used for, but I knew it was right for me, and I loved it.
But I have to admit that a part of me said, "Drat, now I have no more excuses." From this point on, I had to become more creative in my attempts to weasel out of starting a blog. Fortunately, life in general decided to help. A broken finger, the demands of caring for two crazy kids, an opportunity to become the president of my PEO chapter and my father's retirement all managed to help me avoid the issue.
Honestly, I had no intention of starting this blog today. I sat down at my spinning wheel to ply some lace weight that has been my obsession for the last two weeks. After a few frustrating minutes, I turned to my computer with the thought that I might as well go ahead and set up the blog because the spinning just wasn't going well. I freely admit that there was a little bit of panic when I realized how quick and easy the set up was. That panic told me that I had done the right thing.
There are always excuses. Change is scary and some of us are very, very good at figuring out ways to avoid it - even if that change might just turn out to be good for us.
And so, with thanks to those who have been nudging me to the edge for months now, I'm stepping off the cliff.