Hello, Old Friend
It’s been a minute, hasn’t it.
The last time I published anything that was not a monthly reading recap was late December of 2019, when I wrote about how I’d done on my 2019 resolutions. Oddly enough, there are end of the year drafts for both 2020 and 2021. I have no idea why I never completed them. The monthly book posts trailed off this year. The blog had run its course, and that was ok.
So why am I here again?
Well, the truth is that 2022 was literally the most difficult year of my life - so much so that I’ve found myself lately mourning the loss of my identity. I spent yesterday grieving. My therapist calls it, “sitting in the puddle.” Some times you just have to let yourself feel everything, even when it hurts so much that you fear it will pull it under.
But it didn’t. I acknowledged and faced my grief, and I felt all of the things, and then I woke today feeling calm and refreshed.
I gave up New Year’s Resolutions after 2019. Life has taught me a thing or two since then, and even though I feel I had a healthy relationship with resolutions I’m just not interested right now in setting up the sort of long term goals that I once loved.
BUT.
I do still love the concept of starting as you mean to go on - and I mean to find myself again in 2023.
So today I:
- Made sure that my morning routine included important self-care - including time spent with my therapy light box.
- I worked on my youngest’s college blanket, which is a symbol of both my commitment to and love for my family.
- I started a new shawl for myself - because last year I only completed one project, and I desperately want to be someone who makes beautiful things again.
- That new shawl is being knit with my “albatross” yarn - some beautiful stuff that I’ve spent years trying to figure out what to do with. My intention is to work with the things I already have this year.
- But also, I ordered an embroidery kit today because I want to try new things once in a while.
- I listened to podcasts, read books, and watched movies…because those are all better for me than mindless internet scrolling/distractions.
- I reviewed and updated my values-based habit tracking list for my journal.
- And speaking of my journal, I ordered my own sprocket and did the set up for a new month/new year. I love adding little pics, and can’t wait to have my own sprocket. (I used the girls’ sprockets until they broke. I’ve missed them.)
- I practiced my ukulele, made some decisions about how I want to learn this year, and agreed to go to the local ukulele group tomorrow night. Music was a bright spot last year, although progress was slow, and it’s important to keep going.
- I honored my body with a nap and a walk.
- I played with my puppy.
- I loved on my girls and my husband.
- And I found my way back here - because I’ve missed writing more than I realized, and even if this doesn’t ‘stick’ it’s a way to start again.
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