Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Starting the Conversation

Dear Green Woman,

My dear, whatever shall we do with each other!

We seem to have been blessed for the first time in a very long while with the twin gifts of time and ability....not to mention the fact that due to my efforts in controlling my allergies I've been gifted with a type of mental clarity that I haven't felt in years.  (We're not kidding anyone...there's still work to be done in THAT department...but that's a story for another day.)  So now that we've had some a few weeks to adjust to the new school year schedule, we could really get some stuff done!

That is not, however, what seems to be happening.  I think at this point you and I are both feeling rather perplexed.

So here's the situation as I see it:

Things have changed this year big time.  My new running schedule takes precedence - and before you gripe about that, let's take a breath and remember that running is part of why I'm feeling so much better now.  No way am I giving that up!  The challenge is that it does take up a large portion of my morning three times/week.  By the time I get home and get cleaned up it's really too late to go to a coffee shop with any hope of getting a table.  So we stay home, and...

Crickets.

I can almost hear them as I sit in the quiet of my empty home, trying to figure out what to do.

True, as usual I'm also overwhelmed by the general household things that need to be done.  Yes, my dear, I'm referring to the things you usually lead me away from with nary a though as to how that effects the rest of my family.  In addition to the laundry and the dishes and the rest, there is also a fairly decent list of projects that I really do need to work on.  (Might I remind you, you wanted that flower bed as much as I did!)  I've always struggled with the perfectionist tendency to be overwhelmed to the point of inaction when faced with so many things to do.  I'm not proud of that...but it is part and parcel of who I am.

And it's so blasted quiet!

You can stop laughing now.

The quiet of an empty house at midday is quite different from the sort of quiet that you know I need in rather large quantities.  Its uncomfortable, and empty, and it makes me a little bit crazy.  I haven't figured out yet if this is just a matter of making my environment more suitable for our needs and comfort...or if it's triggering some uncomfortable emotional junk.  Either way, the quiet of that house can be uncomfortable.

I should point out that I AM getting things done, creatively speaking, on the days when I can start my morning at Starbucks...precious few as those have been.  I tend to come home from those mornings with a clarity of purpose that allows me to actually get some of those household things done in the time remaining before the girls come home from school.  As much as I appreciate that, I don't want to go back to that being my everyday existence.....for a lot of reasons that you already know about.

The trick, therefor, is to figure out how to work with the way things are now.

So what are we going to do?

Better yet, what do we WANT to do?

I don't have any brilliant ideas, but I did want to pose the questions so that we can start to think about them.  Perhaps we'll talk soon and see if we can figure this out!

Love,
Kristin

PS.  I was not amused when you spilled that box of beads.  That most certainly is NOT the way to get my attention with something you want to try.

PPS.  I love you anyway.

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